Thursday, October 20, 2011

Third Campaign Challenge - BABE





This is the third and final Challenge of Rachael Harrie's fabulous Campaign. Initially, I wasn't particularly inspired, but I have been mulling it over and finally put pen to paper (well, stubby fingers to grubby keyboard). The rules for this Challenge are as follows:


Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. It should show:
  • that it’s morning, 
  • that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
  • that the MC (main character) is bored
  • that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
  • that something surprising happens.
Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: "synbatec," "wastopaneer," and "tacise."   (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them)

BABE


I awoke with a snort, squinting into the early morning sunshine. It was already hot as hell. My mouth tasted like the bottom of last night's ashtray. I tasted hard, gritty sand against my teeth. My tongue moved around, looking for moisture. I lay there, too weary and apathetic to move. I closed my eyes. Time passed. The sun got hotter. My scorched skin stretched tight over my face, feeling like it would blister and crack at any moment. I could hear the gentle lapping of waves on the sand nearby. My parched throat closed as I craved a long, cold drink of Tacise.


Shaking the thoughts away, the rest of my senses returned and with them an overpowering stench of rotten cabbage and urine. The toxic smell assaulted my nostrils, making me gag. The taste of bitter vomit stained the back of my throat. I turned and saw the culprit - a steaming pile of green wastopaneer. Damn, those Synbatecs were a pain! Desperate to quench my thirst, I staggered to my feet and set off down the beach in search of water.

"Oi, you filthy pig, get off my land!" 


I turned my head to see who was shouting. To my amazement, standing with hands planted on her hips, was a blonde bombshell in a skimpy turquoise bikini, breasts barely contained by the two tiny scraps of material masquerading as a top. Scarlet lips formed a hard line beneath her cold blue eyes. How had I not noticed her? Maybe I'd caught a touch of the swine flu doing the rounds. I glanced around the deserted beach for the object of her disgust. Slowly, the penny dropped that it was me. 

Filthy pig? How dare she? 

I looked down and noticed that I was, in fact, a pig.


Hope you enjoyed it (btw, exactly 300 words <smug smile>). I am #77  if you fancy voting for me, but all comments gratefully received. 

34 comments:

  1. Great twist at the end!! Loved it!!

    I'm entry #5

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is fantastic. I love the descriptions of the mouth tasting like an ashtray, and the hankering for a drink.
    And the pig at the end? Great surprise, totally did not see that coming.

    Excellent job!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That was a hilarious ending! What a twist! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Haha great job! Nice descriptions too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh Claire! You made me laugh! Great job, love the twist at the end. I'm off to vote!

    Jessica #74

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks everyone, glad you liked it. I wasn't sure where I was going with it and then the pig idea just appeared! Not sure what that says about me though ...

    ReplyDelete
  7. hilarious ending, wonderful twist to the story! Great job :D

    I'm entry #69 :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. That made me literally laugh out loud. My cats have scattered in terror. Wonderful story!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Excellent! I particularly liked the bit about "My tongue moved around, looking for moisture." Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thanks Alyssa.
    Ruth - hope your cats are okay! Glad I made you laugh :)
    Unknown - I had to force myself to use the 'M' word!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I like his surprise at the end. Mine is #56

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh ha, that was great. The ending really was suprising!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks Bridget and Mel - the ending surprised me when I wrote it LOL

    ReplyDelete
  14. hahaha Really a pig??! That was unexpected.

    Thanks for the follow :) You got a new follower as well!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lol! Loved the ending! Great job using those words! ; )

    ReplyDelete
  16. Haha...how the heck did that happen? A pig! Great surprise ending.

    ReplyDelete
  17. LOL! Did not see that coming :) I'm off to vote!

    ReplyDelete
  18. That was awesome--what an ending! I have occasionally thought men were pigs, but now I have proof.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I love this! Great ending.
    Mind is #25.

    ReplyDelete
  20. So much more left to the imagination, what was a pig doing on a beach? Had the MC turned into one over night? Loved the combination of urine and cabbage. Hmmm. Funny stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I really enjoyed this! I going to give you a LIKE right now. :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Thanks everyone for all your lovely comments and for voting if you did. Really appreciate it. I have been really enjoying reading all your entries.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Great writing, Claire! I think you did great at really fitting the strange words into the story in a way that made total sense. Your sense of humor also comes through. I'd love to read the rest of this story someday! :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hi, Claire! I'm here to let you know you've advanced to the second round. Good luck, and congratulations! :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Maeve, thanks so much :)
    Chipper, thanks - it would be quite fun to write more sometime
    Carrie - YAY! Thanks so much, I'm honoured :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. So was the woman Circe turning men to pigs? Fun story. I especially applaud the use of Tacise as a drink.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I laughed aloud at the end. Oh how clever that you chose the name of a famous pig for your title. I love the double meaning. Such duplicity. Mine will probably give you a headache, but it's all in fun. Well, maybe not fun for poor Chubby. It's number 20.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Very interesting surprise at the end! I'm judging this round and have chosen your entry to move on!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Jocelyn - thanks for commenting and I was pleased with Tacise as a drink, sounded okay.
    Sher - so pleased you enjoyed the Babe reference - it made me laugh and now sooo pleased I used this pic in the joke as I've had over 9000 reads on Scribd and sure the piccie helped!
    Jen - ooh thank you (does this mean I have moved to a third round?)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Great Story and loved the twist at the end

    ReplyDelete