Friday, May 4, 2012

Meditation in May & Farting!



Day 3 - well I managed to meditate for a full 22 minutes with NO INTERRUPTIONS! At long bloody last! Maybe those pesky callers have got the message ... DON'T call me between 6.00 - 6.30am. I felt really good afterwards - actually finished the guided meditation. Which may have been the problem yesterday, and why I was so tired. I got rudus-interruptus at 17 mins and the softly-spoken lady had not grounded me properly or brought me back to the present. I was obviously off in some other parallel universe, floating in a lovely bubble of spiritually-enhancing other-worldness. Today, she brought me back gently to the real world of my desk and computer and phones. Nice :)



I must admit that during the meditation, my mind kept wandering. Mostly about what I was going to write in this blog. But I know that's normal and will get better the more I practice. Not the writing in this blog bit (although goodness knows I could do with writing better), the mind wandering bit.

Anyway, afterwards, I went off to peel a couple of hard-boiled eggs for breakfast (faddy diet), and made the office stink like I had been farting turkey and sprouts all morning. Not nice :(

Talking of which, I sometimes think how weird it would be if farts were visible. You know, like little bubbles popping out behind us, giving us away. And what if they were colour-coded: tiny, odourless pale yellow bubbles behind little kids, larger beige ones behind adults with normal digestion, purple ones behind people who smell like flowers and eat only organic vegetables, dangerous orange/green toxic ones behind yobbos who've been on the beer and curry the night before, and nasty brown ones behind elderly people with incontinence issues.
Imagine, standing in line for your morning coffee and seeing all these different coloured bubbles popping out of people's bottoms! Anyway, just thought I would share that. Not very ethereal or spiritual, I suppose, but these are the random thoughts that go through my head.

48 comments:

  1. was eating my breakfast whilst reading this...suddenly not very hungry anymore...

    Well done on achieving a full 22 minutes without interruption. By the end of this challenge, you'll be a meditation master.

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    Replies
    1. LOL sorry Lily. Yes I am aiming for full enlightened mastery by May 31st!!

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  2. Hahaha! Sooo disgusting and yet I might want to see that. We had a pool growing up and my Dad put these little tablets in it so that if anyone peed in the pool it would turn colors around them. Def. narrowed down the invited guest list and was oh so awesome when my lit'l sis had a pool party! Ha!

    Keep up the great work on your meditation. You're doing awesome!

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    Replies
    1. Ha ha - I've heard of those, but funny to see. Think I'd rather not know though, ignorance is bliss! Thanks for your encouragement :)

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  3. OmG I am still laughing- egg and turkey/sprout and well have coffee coming out my nose from laughing, choking and spitting. Thanks for the laugh this morning.

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    1. Thanks for commenting :) I really appreciate it and glad I made you laugh.

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  4. LMAO oh that was good, something that cat would post, visible farts hahahaha love it. And congrats on 22 minutes

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  5. Thanks Pat, it's a concept that keeps me awake in cold sweats at night!

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  6. 22 minutes of complete lack of distractions is pretty impressive.

    Anyway, speaking of farts, I can do a cool magic trick. I can be in the middle of the Altantic, and as soon as I fart, someone will appear out of no where. It's quite strange. So, if ever you get lost, just fart and someone will appear and rescue you once you've wafted away the fart.

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    1. 22 mins of lots of distracting thoughts but no phone calls! Just to be clear lol Not a yogi yet.
      Good trick - I will remember that next time I'm lost at sea.

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  7. Ha ha ha! Colored farts! Wouldn't that make a funny kids book...just saying. LOL.

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    1. Yes, Kerri, and in fact my best friend (Bucket, or Bee as she now likes to be called) is the BEST kids' illustrator and would do this really well.

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  8. I think I am going to dedicate an entire post to you this weekend. You are just too funny/disgusting/funny!

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  9. okay...taking a hostess break from my dad's visit. Claire. You need help my new friend.

    Here's the thing.If toots were visible, what do you imagine a 1st grade class room would look like? Unless the ABC's tooted with the snack break I suppose, our people would never learn to read. It would be like SanFran with a heavy fog of stinky imagery.

    I do support visible tootage of the famous though. Wouldn't that be great? Okay...think think Kate before you click post on this comment you are thinking about the Queen...is this your new friend from the ABC challenge that is british? be careful.

    No! Wait! Claire is the one who, if we ever meet IRL, might give me Australian vegamite something on my toast.

    Eye think.

    I support the meditation - am with you for real. After my dad leaves, I swear! I'm going to go back to the yoga/pilates/meditation thing I started a couple of weeks ago at the YMCA.

    blessings for a restful weekend,

    Kate

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    1. Thanks Kate. Hilarious. Just imagine the possibilities for causing trouble with visible farts.

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  10. I used to meditate and know all too well that mind-wandering thing.

    I have two boys, so they make absolutely no effort to hide their farts. We don't need visuals in our house :-)

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    1. Yeah, boys are so bad for farting, aren't they? I have a son and a daughter and it's always Tom who does the farting. Perhaps it genetic?

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  11. And then there are SBD's (silent, but deadly), a code my husband invented after a particularly long camping trip. Congratulations for completing A-Z and for continuing to write!

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    1. Thanks Beth, and this would bring to light, so to speak, all those SBDers!

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  12. When in doubt, potty humor is always a safe bet! LOL! Love it, Claire. Love your posts!

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    1. Who knew that farting made such great comments! Thanks Mina.

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  13. I'm going to have nightmares about visible farts now... Do the silent but deadly ones at least get a stealth almost-invisible bubble?

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    1. Ha! Yes why not! Stealth farts - love it!

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  14. OMG you are hilarious! Colored-bubble farts. LMAO! I can see it now, "I see you had curry last night. How was it?"

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  15. Well, colorful farts are a little bit of a distraction with meditation. I only eat organic vegetables. The rumor is true!!!!!! lol

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    1. Yes, there would be no secrets anymore - Oy! You've been eating meat! or Oy! You ate curry last night!

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  16. Nice :) Adding to the spirit of fart...some sayings from boarding school days:

    Silent but deadly
    He who smelt it, dealt it
    You said the rhyme, you did the crime
    The smellers, the feller

    Books:

    Bubbles in the bath by Ivor Windybottom

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    Replies
    1. Ha ha - yes, those sayings were what we all said. But I suppose we were all terrible farters!

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  17. That's funny. I imagine my mind would drift to something like this if I meditated. Of all the scenes in one of the Lion King movies, three of the character are sitting in a whatever a jacuzzi is in the wild. There are bubbles in the water. One of the characters get out and there are no more bubbles. When I first watched it my son looked at me like, "What's so funny?" He is seven now so he knows what happens when you fart in the bathtub. First time visiter via Bridgetstraub.com Nice to meet your blog ;-)

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    1. That's funny - I had forgotten that bit. Nice to meet you too :)

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  18. Your fart idea made me laugh. :D

    I enjoy meditation. I should do it more often. My mind wanders as well.

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    1. Yes, my mind definitely wanders less the more I do. Thanks for your comment.

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