Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Second Campaigner Challenge!




Well, flush from the success of bulldozing all my friends and family into voting me into 4th place for the last challenge, I thought I would give this next one a go too!

Rachael Harrie's next Challenge:

Write a blog post in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should:
  • include the word imago in the title
  • include the following 4 random words: miasma, lacuna, oscitate, synchronicity
  • as an added challenge make reference to a mirror in your post. 
  • for those who want an even greater challenge (optional), make your post 200 words EXACTLY!
Streuth! I didn't even know what some of those words meant! (If you also don't know, go here for definitions.) So I got out my dictionary, scratched my head, chewed my pencil, read a few of the other entries, became seriously intimidated, re-wrote a few times, and finally came up the following, exactly 200 word, entry.
Winners are totally based on number of votes this time, so if you enjoy my entry please go here and scroll down to number 133 and click "like" on my name. Voting ends Friday 14th October. Quick. Vote now. Thanks :)


The Imago Nightmare



He sat in the leather chair, fingers gripping the arms for dear life, his knuckles white and tense. There was no sound in the room except for his fast, shallow breaths. Suddenly a shadow fell over him and there was a quiet rustle of clothes as a large man loomed into view, the mask covering his face making him eerily menacing. Two black eyes squinted down at him. He felt his body break out in a cold sweat, hairs standing on end.

If only he’d listened to his intuition, he berated himself, when the foreboding miasma had first penetrated his thoughts, he wouldn’t now be in this awful predicament. The synchronicity of events shocked him. Everything had happened so swiftly.

The figure above him stretched out a limp, gloved hand. Something glinted. A tiny mirror.

“Well then, Handsome,” Dr Imago squeaked, his camp voice effeminately high as he minced over. “What a su-per coincidence seeing you again. If you could just oscitate for me, I can have a quick peek at that lacuna and we’ll have you fixed up in a jiffy. Those cavities are a nightmare, you naughty boy. I bet you haven’t been flossy-wossing every day, have you?”





39 comments:

  1. Nice twist. If I had a dollar for every time I felt that way at a dentist office, I'd be rich. :)

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  2. Ah, fear of the dentist, I can identify! Nice twist. :)

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  3. LOL. Nice twist. Nothing is more scarier than a dentist.

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  4. HA! Love it. Great use of the words and twist at the end :)

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  5. Love the use of the word Imago! Scary and funny :) Great job!

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  6. Haha! I just went to the dentist today so this is all too applicable :)

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  7. This is hilarious, and so not what I was expecting. Fantastic job!

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  8. *cue psycho music*

    Not the Dentist! No!

    That was awesome. Loved the tension you built all the way to the end. And the end brought me back to my dentist as a kid.

    Great job, Claire! :)

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  9. Great twist at the end. None of us like going to the dentist. :) I'm #127 from the challenge and a new follower.

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  10. Thanks for all your comments. Not psycho music, David, but Marathon Man. I wanted to include the words "Is it safe?" but thought it would be a dead give-away!
    Glad you all got my humour - I ran it by a couple of people first (Americans) and they didn't understand my Britishness so I had to rewrite it a bit!!

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  11. One of my favorites so far! Love the twist and the tension. If my dentist said flossy-wossing I would be outta there in a nano second. LOL!

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  12. Nice tension and atmosphere you created there. I know the feeling, gripping that chair for dear life :D Dentist visits are always a nightmare. Nicely written, you have my vote!

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  13. Funny, but I'm clenching my teeth just reading it. Ugh, dentists!

    Mine is #3.

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  14. Excellent, excellent! A very vivid reaction to the dreaded dentist's office! Loved it!

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  15. Ooh, I hate the dentist. I was just talking to someone about that today. LOL. I love the image you used for this, too. Great story. :D

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  16. Dentists are very very scary! Like the tension in this.

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  17. great! "liking" on Rach's site now!

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  18. Loved the tension and then the switch at the end. Funny stuff.

    I'm #110

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  19. I also loved the switch at the end, though I can't say I've ever been that afraid in a dentist's office, haha. Great job, though! And good luck.

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  20. Love the way you build the tension and then reveal. Very funny. I'm 153 BTW.

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  21. Thanks again everyone for your comments. It's great to get some feedback. I thought 'flossy-wossing' was such a pukey thing to say, so I agree Kerri :)

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  22. This made me giggle. Loved the ending!

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  23. Clever Claire! Totally didn't anticipate that it was the dentist. Good job incorporating all the words and getting the exact word count!

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  24. Oh, I despise the dentist! What a great twist at the end. I thought he was getting interrogated--well, maybe he was!

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  25. This was great! Loved the funny twist of the ending. And the build up was terrific.

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  26. I really like your entry. Wonderful job!

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  27. When I first read this, through a FB friend, I didn't realise that it was for a competition, and I thought, wow, this writer puts me to shame using such words! Now I know better! I've entered too. I really enjoyed it before I knew what it was about, but I also think it meets the rubric of the competition beautifully and I enjoyed the playful and lighthearted element to the gay dentist - one of which I know in real life. I thought it was very well done. Good luck.

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  28. Great job and I loved the ending.

    Enjoy your weekend.

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  29. Thanks for everyone's comments and so pleased you all got the humour. Just off to visit all your blogs now :)

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  30. He! he! Orthodontist horror... the sadists! love the twist in the tale! :D

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  31. Wow, you create the image of evil in this dentist--and I was completely surprised by his appearance. I love this sort of ending, where it's a surprise and yet every detail fits so perfectly.

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  32. Oh--I should say hi, from a fellow campaigner and bloghop writer! :) Thanks for introducing yourself!

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  33. Dentists get such a bad rap! Hee hee.

    The Write Soil

    Mine is #50.

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  34. A dentist - nice twist! Don't like those offices, the smell, and (gulp) the drill. Great use of the words too.

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  35. Excellent creepiness leading to the funny twist.

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  36. Bwahaha! This made me laugh outloud (seriously, my husband is looking at me strangely). What a great twist ending! Great job!

    #189

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